My plantain addiction

October 24, 2012

I am seriously addicted to plantains.

The boy & my sister are likely already planning an intervention. Or maybe they think it is too funny to just watch me and my dirty little secret. Well now it isn’t much of a secret, eh?! Isn’t the first step to recovery acknowledging the problem?

My lovelies!

Now I never really ate plantains until I started eating paleo. I don’t know why. Maybe I thought they were like bananas, which I can only tolerate in a green form, and plantains need to be pretty ripe (i.e. disgusting brown which is fully unacceptable in my banana world). But, I discovered through a PaleOMG recipe how delicious the little buggers were cooked in some coconut oil when sliced thin. Or cooked in coconut oil and then mashed. Or in a hard little chip form, which is what I discovered this past weekend in Atlanta at the mecca of Whole Foods (my first time at one!).

I nearly OD’d on plantains.

I easily ate three packages of plantain chips in three days. Binge much? Ooops.

While at my CrossFit Level 1 training course this weekend I would grow increasingly excited as the afternoon wore on because I was already thinking about getting back to my sister’s apartment and eating plantains. I drove home from Atlanta with already opened packages in the car and didn’t even make it one hour into the drive before demolishing them. My guts were a bit surprised with the plantain influx this weekend so I have been trying my best to IGNORE the three remaining packages of plantain chips in the cupboard (two are spicy plantain chips, one is salty just in case you were wondering).

I also have 13 plantains in various stages of ripening on my counter right now. Did you know they take FOREVER to go from green to ripe? That’s why you need to always be prepared. They seem to stay an acceptable level of ripe for a few days too (just FYI). I actually bought green plantains before leaving for our week-long desert trip just so I would have some at the ready when we got home.

Also. Does anyone know how they make the chips in the store? Do they really use a green plantain? I wonder if they do in order to slice them so thin?

I made a plantain mash last night to go with some pulled pork (that is what we call an EPIC combination right there) and even though the consistency came out like glue (too much coconut milk maybe?), I could have cared less as they made sweet magic (with a sprinkle of cinnamon) in my mouth.

Ah, plantains. I need to use the old Google machine to find some more plantain recipe ideas and ways to cook them. Or maybe I don’t, since I am rapidly losing control??? Stupid plantains. Why do you have to be so good?!

What’s this? Are you hungry? Ahhh, a paleo “oatmeal” (see below!)

OK, onto something a bit more relevant. I went to Atlanta this past weekend to take the CrossFit Level 1 Certificate Course. It was a FANTASTIC course for the most part. I learned SO much about some super-basic movements that I think that personally I can make gains with my own back squat and deadlift one-rep max numbers. Even today as I did some heavy push jerks in our workout I really felt like all the work we did on the dip was paying off for me. Super psyched on that aspect.

I was also super psyched to not be THE most F-ed up person in my small group on any of the movements, which is to say you get called into the middle of the circle for some “intensive therapy”. Whew! I felt bad for poor John and a few others who got called in relentlessly, even as the trainers rotated. He had a good attitude about it though, and undoubtedly got a LOT out of all the feedback.

At the end of the course you take a test to get your official certificate. I will find out later this week (or next week) whether I passed. And it’s annoying because for the most part I thought the test was pretty straightforward. BUT. There were definitely a handful of questions where I out-thought myself.

I also committed the original sin of changing an answer just before handing the test in, and not sticking with your original gut instinct selection. So after thinking and thinking about a few of the questions – literally probably 5 of them – I convinced myself that I surely flunked. I guess I will find out later this week. It would be annoying if I did, because then I would have to pay $150 to take the test again (and drive to a course in some other city).

And, I think if I have to pay $150 to take it again I should be allowed to write in the GD test book. We were not allowed to make any notes, tick marks, etc. of any kind anywhere at any time during the test. Multiple-choice tests are not my forte, no matter what the subject is. I read WAY too much into them and then out-think myself. So, it is helpful for me to cross out obvious wrong answers, make notes, etc. And I think for $1,000 it is not unreasonable to expect a test booklet one can write in.

The worst part is if you asked me to write an essay about any of those questions I hemmed and hawed about I would nail it. 100%. I literally got a perfect score on my GRE in the essay section. I know you would never guess based on the way I write here on the blog, but believe me I can turn it ON for some real writing, when needed. I just hate having to pick “the best” answer from a host of choices. I royally suck at that. So now I am ready to stop obsessing about the test since there is nothing I can do but check my e-mail and wait for the report.

Another breakfast win with some local bison sausage.

OK. So I mentioned in one of my recent blogs about this AMAZING paleo mousse I have made a few times. Well, I happened upon a bottle of peppermint extract the other day, which I put into the chocolate mousse and let me just say OMFG and leave it at that. If you eat paleo and allow yourself some paleo treats, you are stupid if you don’t make this!


Here are some other amazing recipe finds I have had in the past couple of weeks:

  • Butternut Squash Apple Soup – I have been having this as part of my breakfast lately. The flavor combination is so good that it has a lovely rich taste and is a great dose of veggies, too.
  • Roasted Brussels Sprouts & Apples – I did not add any maple syrup or cranberries like she suggests and it was still amazing. I mean who doesn’t love those slightly burned roasted little sprouts?! Tonight I am going to try it with some red pears.
  • Pumpkin N’oatmeal (Paleo oatmeal) – I add more nuts (I mean 1 tablespoon of walnuts? That’s like 1 walnut and not enough for my needs!) and have not added the maple syrup either, but this is a quick, easy and satisfying little fix in the morning!
  • Creamy Chicken Casserole – this was overall really good taste-wise but the sauce is super runny! Not sure how to thicken it, mostly because I’m not sure that I care that it was runny.
  • Roasted Cauliflower – I love roasted vegetables, and this was no exception. I opted for the addition of broccoli and onions (see the bottom of the recipe) and it was really good! I think it would be pretty tasty without the lime and cilantro, too.
  • Southwest Turkey Sliders over Avocado Slaw – I messed up in the chopping of my veggies (got a little excited with the food processor) which meant my burgers were exceptionally “wet” let’s say. So I ended up just grounding up the meat in the pan. So, besides that little snafu, the flavors are EXCELLENT. I really dig the pairing of the burger with the avocado slaw. I added some fresh chopped tomato and onion to the top and it was stellar!
  • Five Ingredient Breakfast Stuffed Acorn Squash – this was a really good one, too! Perfect for a weekend morning.

This soup rules!

Alright, speaking of food, I need to get on dinner! Sweet potato enchiladas are a bit time consuming, but so freaking worth it!

Oh, and thanks for all who are curious about my disgusting arm. It’s almost all the way healed now. That was fast, eh?!


  1. I was thinking, maybe, if cutting the plantains and putting some salt on them and then putting them into a dehydrator would work to make the chip? I’m very intrigued by the plantain chips and am going to research how to make them!

    Those SW turkey sliders are the shiiiiiiiiiit!

    • Have you eaten the rest of yours yet? I haven’t touched the last three still. Although Ryan was eyeballing them just before we ate dinner last night and I begged him to NOT OPEN THEM. If they are still sealed they are safe in some weird way I suppose. Plus we were about to eat some sweet potato enchiladas!!!!

  2. […] Maijaliisa Burkert « My plantain addiction […]

  3. My favorites are ripen plantains (platanos maduros) just because they are super sweet. Plantains are the best I agree. In Colombia we eat green plantain and we call it “patacon” and I am positive that the chips you are talking about are most likely green plantains (perhaps twice fried like “patacones”).

  4. Lol I’m addicted to plantains too!

  5. 3 packs in 3 days? Wanna know what a real addiction is? 12 packs in 2 days. Its just not normal!! But I crave them so much. I HAVE A LEGIT PROBLEM 😦 my family thinks im a fatass

  6. What’s the damn solution to plantain addiction!!!!

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