Stop peeing on the seat

April 28, 2014

Ladies. Why do (so many of) you insist on peeing ALL over the seat and floor in a public restroom?

PLEASE help me to understand why you can’t just build a little bird’s nest with TP and sit your ass down.

Some public toilets even make a handy little tissue cover to speed up the bird’s nest build time! All you need to do is pull it out of the box mounted to the wall, and set it on the seat. Even if you are so dumb you can’t use a turn signal in your car, you should at least be able to follow that basic movement pattern, right?

I’ve even been to countries where they have a little fresh plastic cover that you can spin on out by simply pressing a button. A button!

Now obviously, none of these are really necessary if everyone can just SIT their ass down and not spray their pee everywhere.

But it seems that here in the U.S. this is not possible. There are many other countries I have visited that have a better system in place for their women’s public restrooms. It is basically a hole in the floor. There are little spots for you to put your feet and then you just crouch and go. No need to worry about peeing all over the seat because it is simply not possible. Back in the 90s this was definitely the model that the Japanese were using, and quite frankly I think it’s pure genius.

I think maybe they should just take ALL seats off toilets since no-one ever sits on them. Literally, and I mean LITERALLY every public toilet I had the pleasure of using in the last week was covered in urine. And in airports there are people constantly cleaning the bathrooms, so it’s not like it is a neglected hovel, there are just that many people hosing down the toilets.

I think without the seats there would at least be less pee splashing onto the floor where some SUPER gross people set their purse (which will then later sit on top of the table where your FOOD is (and infinitely grosser!!!).

If you really cannot fathom wiping off someone else’s pee and then building a nest to protect your own butt then maybe you should just lift the seat up. Save it for someone who DOES want to sit down. The worst offenders are obviously people who do the spray pee all over the seat in the handicapped stall. There are some people who have no CHOICE but to sit down, and I’m pretty sure they don’t want your nasty pee on their bum.

So women, really. Let’s get it together. I am not even going to get into the other horrors of public bathrooms including: how some people do not know proper ‘flush the toilet’ protocol, or how to dispose of your sanitary products in the provided bin, and why not to leave your half-eaten egg McMuffin on the toilet paper container etc., because frankly, that’s fodder for at least three other blog posts.


One comment

  1. PREACH! Seriously at my job we have a locked bathroom as in you have to type a code in to get in and ladies still piss EVERYWHERE! We even have the toilet seat covers. Some days it sounds like a little boy’s bathroom where dried pee is all over because they missed the toilet. SO NASTY!!!! Oh and I’ve had to report puddles of pee on the floor that need to be cleaned up. GET IT TOGETHER!

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