Thanks for the advice

March 24, 2014

As a girl, there are certain things in life that I can never do right.

I mean guys always know better, right?

This is never more true than when we go shoot guns.

This weekend we went to the steel target range which is a bit more fun because it is OK to draw from a holster and shoot in unorthodox positions. You can shoot from a chair, laying on the ground, moving forward, sideways, backwards whatever kind of practice you want.

We took the Glock and the 1911 to shoot with. I really enjoy firing both guns but the Glock holds 15 rounds vs. 8 on the Colt so I was spending a bit more time with the Glock. Shortly after we arrived and I finished a round where I hit 14 of 15 the range safety came over to try and teach me how to “hold” a gun.

Seriously dude, I just hit 14 of them, and they aren’t big targets. They are little saucers, even in the back row, I think I’m doing just fine.

But no, he knew a BETTER way for me to stand, a BETTER way to lock my elbows (which I never do!), a BETTER way to wrap my hands and hell, even which eyeball I should be using.

In fact, he insisted that I try all of this with his BETTER gun (a Sprinfield .45 which we also have, but didn’t even bother to bring on Saturday because the Glock and 1911 are way nicer). Of course I then had a 50% hit rate because he was trying to jack me all up.

And believe me, this isn’t a one-off. Every single time we go to the range some strange guy will come up to give me “advice.”

I really don’t understand what compels them to do this. I’m not a shit show. I may not be 100% all the time, but I think I do pretty good, and am proficient and comfortable with all the bits and pieces of our weapons. Also, I don’t feel like I put off a very friendly vibe so that’s even weirder.

On a somewhat related note, the boy suggested I practice drawing with the safety on and switching it off just before I fire with all 8 rounds in the 1911. I didn’t see the logic in that since when I start firing at someone that is in my house, the safety is not going to be on again until they are on the floor and bleeding. But maybe that’s just me.

I’m super bitchy right now though anyways, mostly because I have an injury that is currently limiting ALL activities to “walking” and I had to seriously negotiate for even that! I’m sure shooting at the range would not be approved either, but we weren’t taking the rifle out.

Anyways, one of my ribs has decided it no longer feels like staying attached to the spinal column. It consistently pops out of place no matter how many times the chiropractor puts it back in. And putting it back in isn’t exactly a gentle thing, either.

I have never really trusted chiropractors (*see explanation below) so I kind of wonder if he is BS-ing me about what I can and can’t do, although there is no doubt that stupid thing keeps coming out because I am now very used to feeling it out, and how jolting it is to go back in.

The more tape, the better - right? That's the working theory here. Also, they take it off every day to re-do it which also takes several layers of skin. I know I'm SUPER whiney.

The more tape, the better – right? That’s the working theory here. Also, they take it off every day to re-do it which also takes several layers of skin. I know I’m SUPER whiney.

Anyways, to test him today I told him my discomfort level was at a mere 2. Who doesn’t walk around all day at a 2 at least somewhere in their body? (Well, people that I know are consistently probably at 2 with all the random sorts of injuries!)

Even at a 2 though he says, “come back Wednesday and we will talk about exercise then…” after he crushed the rib back into the spine.

So instead of spending my mornings working out I now go to the chiropractor. It sucks, although there is some amusement to be had just with the other people in the waiting room and the stories they tell.

One day a woman, who obviously is not at ALL fond of her daughter-in-law, was complaining and complaining about how every Christmas eve the mother of her grandchildren has the audacity to cook meatballs with jelly inside. (I agree, those sound gross, but wow, she was really angry about that and how it has ruined every single Christmas, ever.)

Then, some lady that smells like an ash tray and works there likes to talk on and on about her roller derby and how she’s never broken a bone doing it (she’s like 19??? so probably hasn’t been doing it that long) and really gets insulted when she gets carded for cigarettes. Because of course she’s not even 21 so can’t legally drink yet.

Hahahaha Do you remember when you were that age? Late teens and early 20s and you thought for sure you looked old and mature and like a total grown up? I know I did. Now I laugh at those pictures because I totally look like a kid. As do all those ‘adults’ in that age range to me now.

Man, it’s crazy what a little perspective and life will do for you!

*OK, here’s the deal. When I was a kid I remember being told a story about a man who was younger than my parents that was in a wheelchair after suffering a stroke that was supposedly the result of going to the chiropractor. As an adult, I realize this may not be true. I remember lots of stories from childhood that aren’t true! Another example is that wood ticks burrow under your skin and then start living under there and having babies.

THIS IS WHAT A WOODTICK CAN DO DO YOU!!! Hahaha But really, I haven't even begun to share my story of leprosy. Is that even how you spell it??? Thank goodness it doesn't look (or feel) like this anymore.

 THIS IS WHAT A WOOD TICK CAN DO TO YOU!!! Hahaha, but really I haven’t even begun to share my story of leprosy. Is that even how you spell it??? Thank goodness it doesn’t look (or feel) like this anymore.

Annnnndddd Thank goodness for dirty martinis. Although this one was not super dirty, which I'm OK with because that just means more vodka.

Thank goodness for dirty martinis. Although this one was not super dirty, which I’m OK with because that just means more vodka.



  1. Do what works for you. Only the hits count.

  2. Men…*rollseyes* I don’t doubt for a moment you were not friendly when he approached you. Plus you were that group of DBs we saw in shorts waving a jammed gun all over the place!

    Taking that tape off from the Chiro hurts like hell too!!!! Annnnd everyday! Sorry!!! Your doc probably knows you’re full of shit too with your pain level and most likey thinks your rib will be right back out of place. I can 100% agree with you on chiropractors being bad — my doc in MN told me for years NEVER to go to one because they could potentially hurt me even more. Then one day he says you need to go. I questioned his decision for the sudden turn around too! The anxiety I had for my first visits was out of control.

    The waiting room is always a shit show. In IGH all overweight old people and their stories nuts! I hardly ever see anyone at mine in ATL and most people are athletic / runners since they specialize in sports chiropractic therapy. I wish you could see my doc!

    Sorry for the long comment. Enjoy your drinks! Wish I was closer or living with you again so I hangout with you.

    • edit (first paragraph) *weren’t* that group of DBs

  3. “I really don’t understand what compels them [men] to do this.”

    Has a lot to do with being male and the object of instruction being female. Not fair but males with normal hormones and healthy attitudes like being around females, and especially like helping females. Even if they don’t need it.

    Men will bitch equally hard about women wanting to tell them certain things about their lives and feelings in awesome detail, and expect them to be appropriately sympathetic.

    We are just different and both of us (men and women) sometimes push those differences and ignore the feedback of the object of our attention. 🙂



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