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UTIs, knee sleeves, tattoos and hugging

May 13, 2013

Hey, guess what? No-one wants to buy my house yet!

Despite the never-ending flow of lookers (and seriously, some of them are totally disgusting because they pee on the seat of my toilet!) we still don’t have any offers. Cleaning constantly is getting really, really annoying. Maybe if I just stop trying to make sure there is no cat hair ANYWHERE? Well then people would think my house is gross. No-one wants to buy a gross house. Or my nice, clean house. I think I never want to own a house again.

But seriously, the best part is that all these people coming in totally stresses out the cats. When Beatrice gets stressed out she gets a bladder infection. Yay UTI! I mean we still have a few weeks until we actually move and she already has the infection. We have never made a move and she has NOT gotten one, so the fact that she has one so early out. Yikes.

Our cute little house.

Anyways.

Lots of funny things have been happening to me.

For example, this week someone typed into their Google machine “hot chick does squats” and then the results somehow led them to my “Tracking Maija” website. Weird, huh? I mean I know I do lots of squats but seriously. How that link happened, I have no idea. Especially because a couple of days ago I officially ripped all the way through the seams on my spandex workout shorts in the middle of the thigh. That’s great right? Ripping through spandex like I am the Incredible Hulk or something? But along with rip-page comes increasing strength, which is totally happening. What it is preparing me for, I have no idea. And those shorts were a size XL rowing trou. Uffda!

It was my birthday on Saturday and it was the shortest birthday ever. Why? Because I was in bed by 8 p.m. after nearly DYING from having a Smoothie King after working out. It was the worst stomach pain ever. I will never, ever have Smoothie King again. Good lord that was ridiculous! It kind of ruined my Sunday, too. But, for my birthday I did get an awesome T-shirt from my sister, and have some more surprises showing up in the mail today. I cannot wait!

This week I am also doing something that is very scary to me.

I am getting a tattoo.

Yes, I do already have one, but this one is going to be in a very visible spot. No, not my chest. Not that I’m judging.

I’ve been wanting to get one for a long time on my arm. The problem was, I never knew WHAT I wanted to get a tattoo of. Most people seem to get tattoos that are telling some kind of story, or have some kind of meaning, blah blah blah. I just want something that will look cool. But how do you tell the tattoo artist that?

Well, you just kind of act like a super dork and go in with a list of “Yes”: things I would do, and “No”: don’t even dream of putting flowers on me. Sorry, I’m just not that girly. Because the thing is, if I am going to get something so visible done I NEED to get it done while we are here in Savannah. This is a town full of exceptional artists, so to leave and consider getting it done in Tennessee/Kentucky is unthinkable.

So I go in Wednesday and seriously am so nervous. I talked with my artist about what I was thinking of and we picked a peacock. I already knew where I wanted it, so then it was a matter of what kind of style. I sent him an e-mail with 11 images the other day of elements I like and elements I do not like from other peacock images I’ve seen online. I am super, duper anxious to see what he comes up with given all that information.

And if you ask me “But WHY a peacock?” or “What does a peacock MEAN?” after reading this I will punch you in the face. Just know that I wanted something that would look cool with pretty colors but overall have a really nice design element. And I am very optimistic that this will be it. No, I don’t have any other ‘connection’ to a peacock. I remember there used to be some in the neighborhood we lived in the first time we lived in Clarksville, and it was always so weird to see them just hanging out in someone’s backyard. The boy likes to point out that this concept will be great to potentially expand into a full sleeve some day. He’s crazy.

Original caption for this photo: “Step 1: Cut a Hole in a Box.” If you don’t get this, we are not friends.

I have been reading a lot of dystopian novels lately. The really annoying part is they all seem to be trilogies, and none of the third books have been released yet. The other annoying part is that they always seem to make the girls annoying. Can we please have a book with a girl who is badass and not annoying? Is that too much to ask? Do I need to write it myself? I don’t know why I am so into the dystopian thing lately. The boy is making me read an old one now “Brave New World” which is kind of bizarre given that it was written in 1931. I’m totally obsessed with these.

I am also obsessed with wearing my knee sleeves all the time now when I work out. I don’t know what it is about them, it’s just like a nice warm hug around my knee that makes everything feel better. And I’m not even a hugging person! Once the boy had this boss that always felt like he should give you a hug when he saw you. I finally had to tell him that I just don’t like hugging in general, much less him being the boy’s boss and all. Then of course it was always this big production when I would see him that was all “Oh, hiiiiiiiiii Maija [approaching with arms spread] – oh, that’s right, you don’t like to hug.” He was such a weirdo.

Knee sleeves! And my new ‘Catitude’ T-shirt!

But, as far as the hugging thing goes, the boy and I went to this Five Languages of Love class and we both scored the least amount of points in the physical contact category. I thought that was funny. The other part that was funny was that we totally scored almost the same in everything and the other people in the class were all “WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS, YOUR LIFE WILL TOTALLY CHANGE AND YOU WON’T BE ALL ‘OH WE MAKE SPENDING TIME TOGETHER A PRIORITY!!!!'” I hate those people. Don’t be angry and bitter just because you chose to birth offspring. That’s not my fault and yes, not doing so has been a very conscious decision on my part. Why do you think I get away with all of these shenanigans that make up my very awesome life? That wouldn’t be happening if I had kids in tow. Shoot, cats are bad enough! And hey, we’ve probably been married longer than you guys have even known each other so you can shut it on that one too!

Whew, have I covered enough topics today?

OK, maybe one more. Obviously I totally had some gluten and dairy this weekend because it was my birthday and I wanted to have some fancy food (and FroYo!). Now my elbow and knees are SO achey. Damn that gluten and dairy. Why can’t it just be OK and not hurt my body? Oh well, when you eat dairy and gluten you probably aren’t eating bratwurst and sauerkraut for breakfast. Just FYI: that’s pretty much the best breakfast EVER. You are missing out!

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One comment

  1. Cannot wait to see your tattoo when its done!!!



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