I am addicted to almond butter

February 26, 2013

Yesterday, I totally OD-ed on almond butter.

As I was doing so I texted my CFBFF saying “Oh F*cK me, I love almond butter & carrots so much!!!”

I censored that just for you, because really Rebeccah doesn’t EVER get the censored version.

Anyways, to OD on almond butter is not hard for me.

I think almond butter, especially the kind I make myself at home, is one of the tastiest things in the world. I dream about luxuriating in a huge pool of it and letting it drip off my bones and combing it through my hair. I once saw an episode of “Intervention” where some heroin-addicted girl said doing heroin was like bathing in warm honey. I kind of think she meant almond butter, but was too whacked to realize it.

In any case, I have a serious love for that stuff and have been using this Whole30 as a means to rein it in.

It doesn't look like much, but this is seriously my CRACK. How cute is my little Tupperware too?!?!

It doesn’t look like much, but this is seriously my CRACK. How cute is my little Tupperware too?!?!

And until yesterday it had been going great. I only ate almond butter every few days, and then only in small amounts. I thought I was getting better. But like any addict, it’s not something you just get better from. It’s a life-long struggle.

What was different about yesterday? I was hungry off the charts all day and had nerves about an afternoon examination. This created a perfect storm of almond butter + carrot madness.

I probably ate almost 1/2 cup of almond butter yesterday, and believe me, even still today my belly is not happy about it. You’d think I would learn, right? But like any addict I can’t stay away from the stuff. It just calls my name with all it’s salty, sticky goodness.

Even making it is magical! I mean how does a bag of plain, boring almonds turn into such liquid sunshine in just a matter of minutes (after dry roasting of course!).

Isn’t the first step just to admit I have a problem? Who knows what No. 2 is?

Anyways. Until that episode yesterday I had been pretty proud of how my Whole30 V2 was going. I am glad that I am doing another one because as I look back on my first Whole30 with more experience under my belt, I now see how I did so many things technically “wrong” on that first one. These were things I came to correct and understand over time, since my first Whole30 back in June 2012.

When I did my first Whole30 the book “It Starts With Food” had not yet been published. All I had was an abbreviated handout from my gym with some guidelines for foods to avoid and foods to eat. I did not understand the entire intent of the program; specifically the analysis of my relationship with food. And as you can see, I obviously have some serious issues with food, like almond butter.

With this Whole30 since it isn’t at all about “figuring out” what to eat since I have eaten very, very close to Whole30 (with the exception of SWYPO paleo-fied deserts) I have been able to take the time to really listen to my body asking for different nutrients at different times of the day….and when it begs and pleads for almond butter. But that isn’t really my body, that’s just my brain shouting by way of my taste buds. Bastards!!!

Did you know kittehs are on sale at Publix this week?

Did you know kittehs are on sale at Publix this week?

So what Whole30 foods have I been rocking lately? Honestly, I can’t tell you how much I LOVE “Well Fed” so far. I haven’t made a dud yet, and have made quite a few recipes in it. In fact, I have come to trust Melissa so much that I made a dish today that has EGGPLANT in it and I hate eggplant. But, I believe she can make it magical. We’ll see. The strata with eggplant and pork will be left in the fridge at least 1 day before I even eat it. Apparently it’s one of those dishes that is WAY better as a leftover. That is something I’ve only found to be true of paleo meals, but that it is SO true of many paleo meals! I wonder if it’s because there are no grains in there getting mushy?

Anyways, here are some other non-cookbook links you may want to try:
Strawberry Spinach Salad – much like eggplant, I HATE spinach. But maybe not, since I’ve eaten it in at least two meals every day for the past week. Having this yummy dressing and pairing it with strawberries (which were ridiculously cheap at Publix this week) helped significantly.

If you hate spinach like me, you should definitely try this salad!

If you hate spinach like me, you should definitely try this salad!

Jalapeno Turkey Burger – this was really, really good. I know turkey can be SO BORING but all of the spices really kicked it up a notch. I used 2 lbs of meat and made a total of 6 burgers. These are incredibly tasty re-heated too, and eaten on a bed of plain spinach. (Who AM I?!?!)
Beef spaghetti – OK, so I totally just made my OWN spaghetti sauce and put it over some leftover spaghetti squash and have no idea if this is any good, but this is the gist of it. I had a 2:1 sauce:noodle ratio though, which helped me avoid the weird squashy flavor!
Carrot Ribbon Pasta with Almond Coconut Satay – I know I’ve mentioned this before and I am doing it again because it is SO FREAKING GOOD. Like gourmet food good!

Coming up this week I have many more recipes from “Well Fed” to try including Scotch Eggs! I just got my shipment of “good” ground pork from US Wellness meats today and am excited about the many gastronomic adventures the boy and I will be having over the next few weeks.

What else is going on? I still continue to dork out over my back squat since I am trying to desperately become as badass as Rebeccah and just last week got my first pistol! Which means I have done hundreds since then and now kind of hurt something in my leg. CLASSIC, Maija, CLASSIC. Some things never change!

Here’s a video of me working my slightly retarded leg (and YES, that is the right way to use RETARDED) while rocking out to a little Bohemian Rhapsody. Ah, the things I do for kicks in the durty, durty!



  1. So glad you liked the spinach strawberry salad 🙂

  2. Oh I want that kitteh in the Publix bag! Well his sister. Hilarious blog as always!! Forwarded some of these recipes on to co-workers

  3. i found your blog because i’m addicted to almond butter too. i’ve made it a whole two days without. i hope and pray you, like me, go vegan (a plant based, compassionate lifestyle). the animals whose lives, milk and eggs are stolen from them will thank you! your body will feel soooo much better! and the sustainability of our planet will begin to get back on track. goveg.com, chooseveg.com, vegan.com, meat.com, etc. are just a few (of many) good websites. i’m looking forward to reading about your transition to veganism in your upcoming blogs. ‘;-)

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