Muscles & competition

January 23, 2013

Have you ever watched a home renovation show on HGTV? I have. And I want to know why they only cast and go to houses of women who have never swung a sledge hammer – or seemingly even a regular hammer for that matter in their LIFE.

It’s so annoying how they are all so giggly and excited to swing a sledgehammer for the first time, which they can barely pick up. Seriously ladies, enough with the dramatics. It’s drywall, not concrete. Get it together.

OK, so I am one of those girls you don’t want to tell other girls about. As in the “I have the ability to put on muscle” when I lift heavy. You know, like the women on HGTV, lots of girls mistakenly think lifting weights means getting huge, immediately.

My “to-go” plates, because you never know when you are going to need them.

And if you really think that you probably aren’t really lifting heavy weight anyways, because any girl that’s lifted weights knows it isn’t just an overnight ‘holy $h*t I’m huge!’ kinda thing. As a general rule, most women simply do not have the ability to put on muscle without a real concentrated effort in the gym, and in the kitchen.

I definitely do have the ability to put on muscle relatively easily when I work at it. I actually think the boy is jealous since he’s been working just as hard – probably harder, actually – than me at building muscle and getting stronger, and he’s still got his little bird legs.

Buttttttt MY legs and butt are growing at a ridiculous rate. Know what else is growing? My back squat, deadlift and front squat numbers, so it’s kind of a “what did you expect?” redundant question. Still, the danger is that I need my ice climbing harness to slide over that whole uh “region” for a few days in March when I go on the funnest trip ever to do some ice climbing and camping out in the Ghost Wilderness Area in Alberta, Canada (which is the coolest place, EVER!).

And it’s a legit concern because it’s been growing so fast my question is starting to be: how big will it get? And really, weren’t my legs already big enough to begin with? My pants are looking stupid right now since they are so huge in the waist and then skin tight on my thighs. Maybe I should give in all together and just go for the hipster look and wear only skinny jeans with 90% spandex. Ugh.

Deadlifting at lunch is not helping my pants fit better. But it is helping me get stronger!

In other news, the CrossFit “competition” season is coming up which means lots of people are getting very excited about this in the gym. And guess what I’m not doing? Getting excited.

Anymore, I think I can say I don’t do CrossFit to compare or compete against other people (despite how I do enjoy racing the folks beside me for my own motivation) there are so many levels of scaling, modifications and just plain ‘ol standards that it’s all relative anyways.

The worst part is it makes me kind of feel like a phony.

Just because I am stronger at certain things (i.e. anything with a barbell) my perception is that others think I should be more competitive or at least care about competing more during the CrossFit season. And by care I mean at least half-a-dozen people have talked to me about butterfly pull-ups in the last two weeks. How much do I care about butterfly pull-ups? I can’t put into words how low of a priority that is for me. Hmmm another way to F up my shoulders AND elbows AND tear my hands just to save some time? Sorry, not for me.

Now I readily admit that I do like some aspects of competition. For example, the Garage Games One series is coming up and I am lucky enough to be on a team with three of the most fun and motivating athletes at our gym. I’m super psyched about it because I like being in things for the TEAM of it. I like knowing that if I have zero muscle ups and Sean has oh, let’s say 850, then we will be OK. What I don’t like is the pressure of “you need to be able to do any movement that is thrown out no matter what” because that’s a lot of pressure that makes things not fun. At all.

But it is fun to note where I am at today and see how that compares to last year or next year, especially now that I have finally started seriously tracking my progress here. The goal – for me – is to just make constant improvements. It means that maybe in 6 months I will get a pistol. Maybe I will be able to do TTB without re-kipping every.single.rep. But I want to be motivated to do these things by myself, not by way of others telling me how I “need” to have these movements down pat for the sake of competition.

So, there it is. I am sure the three people that read this will be intrigued.

On to the good stuff – the food!

Here are some MAYJAH winning recipes I have made in the past week:
Paleo Pad Thai – this is seriously, one of the tastiest things I have EVER made. I cannot get enough of this! I have been telling everyone I know to check this one out, so you should, too! On top a little bit of fresh lime juice, green onions and slivered almonds. TO DIE FOR.
Slow Cooker Chicken Vegetable Soup – this turned out almost more of a stew than a soup, but it is hearty and delicious. A perfect winter meal (of any sort!) especially while I’m a bit of a sick-y this week.

I have three other newbies hitting the table this week, including this one TONIGHT for pizza stuffed sweet potatoes (no cheese here though). I don’t think you can go wrong with these, but I will let you know.

Finally, the boy told me this morning I have to go to a movie premier tomorrow night. And I am supposed to wear “church clothes.” Notwithstanding the fact that I haven’t been to church in about 17 years, I honestly am struggling to think of anything I have that is nice enough to meet this standard that currently fits me. Innnneresting, eh?!



  1. Hilarious post! I still think you should get a pair of Levi’s SUPREME Curve now that the boooooty is growing you may just fit perfectly into them.

    When the boy says church clothes does he mean like Southern Women Baptist church clothes?!!! ahhaahahahaha….have fun!

    • Geez, I hope I don’t need Supreme! But dang, my thighs are getting so big they barely fit in these pants that are two sizes too big in the waist.

      and I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything like southern women baptist since neither of us know what that would actually entail. A suit? He just means I can’t wear jeans and my New Balance “dress” shoes. Which means I have nothing.

    • I wonder if those “skinny” jeans that look like wallpaper from Target would fit?!?!

  2. Too funny. Again, so sorry I am not there to be your personal shopper. Or better still, that you aren’t HERE.

    One of three.

  3. YES the skinny jeans that look like wall paper would totally work! Wear those, aahahahahahahaaa!!!!

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