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Geeking out

December 28, 2012

Last week our CrossFit gym had a Christmas party.

It was in a very random part of town, not too far from my house actually, at the Wingmen Club, which is the clubhouse for the local MC.

If you don’t know what MC is then you should watch SoA.

What is SoA? OMG. You may not find this post very entertaining or even remotely interesting if you don’t know. But, let me throw you a bone. SoA is Sons of Anarchy, a TV show about an MC in northern California. And, an MC is a motorcycle club. Got it?

At the club. So cool! Photo by Julie Schwartz.

OK. So, it was a bit curious to hear the party was taking place at a local MC clubhouse. But if only I had realized…I would have brought my camera. It was seriously so cool. The whole time I was all “am I in an episode of Sons of Anarchy?”

There was totally a bar with prospects serving drinks. (Actually, I have no idea if they were prospects, but I just decided that they were because I’m such a geek for SoA and that’s what they do on that show). And the drinks were approximately $0.50. Seriously. The boy drank a balls ton of whiskey and left lots of $$ for tips and even with my drinks I don’t think we spent $20. So awesome.

And there was a local “home brew” (you know, that stuff they call “moonshine” here in the dirty south) of apple pie that was approximately 190 bajillion proof but tasted exactly like apple pie.

There were couches, pool tables, TVs and yes, a stripper pole (duh!).

There were bunks for visiting MC members to sleep in, just like on SoA.

There was a garage and a shop for the bikes! It was seriously so badass. No-one quite looked like Jax though. Or even Chibs, who I could totally get into with the facial scar and all now that Opie is dead. He was my real favorite, even with that greasy hair.

I totally even saw some dudes come in with their cuts on. I was soooo geeking out.

Despite all the coolness it was also literally 185 degrees in there. I mean, seriously. I know it was “chilly” by Savannah standards, but good lord was the heat cranked.

Of course that meant I immediately pitted out. And it was BAD. I mean I literally could not lift my arms up at all. It was actually probably totally pitting out beyond the scope of my deltoids. I don’t know. At least in this picture it wasn’t that bad, yet. It was still early here.

On the verge of pitting out beyond the width of my upper arm. Heinous! Photo by Julie Schwartz. And yes, that is the stripper pole.

And really it only sucked because people at the party ALWAYS see me all sweaty and gross. I mean, these are the people I work out with! Still, it would have been nice to have one day where I wasn’t nasty. But, I guess they are used to it and it just wasn’t meant to be. It was really funny to see how nicely some people clean up though.

The food was pretty good and almost totally paleo: pulled pork and plantains, chicken, veggies, etc. along with some non-paleo deserts like cookies and carrot cake. The cookies seemed very popular which I thought was weird because they were wrapped in a plastic bag and I saw lots of pretty “strict paleo” people eating them. I don’t know if they were seriously that good, or if everyone was having a special treat in the form of a plastic-wrapped cookie, but I guess they musta been BOMB.

Speaking of paleo food and special treats, the next night I treated myself to a handful of those Frito scoop chips which are SO SALTY (I am a slave to salt). Thanks to those little MF-ers I broke out like a 14-year-old boy. There is no doubt, my body sure knows how to make me pay when I put junk into it.

Which leads me into my geeking out episode No. 2: My sister was in town last weekend, although she missed the Friday night party at the clubhouse. She would have been even dorkier than me I think. But together we totally geeked out at Target the next day looking for material to dress up for the annual Christmas ugly sweater party.

Let me just  start by stating that almost everything I saw at Target was ugly. I mean UGLY. It was total 90s. Everything. It was so 90s that the pant sizes were even in odd numbers like they were in the 90s! I had a total hay-day touching all the duds and shrieking about how UGLY it all was. Of course I tried on a bunch of stuff and died laughing at how stupid I looked. It was so, so ugly.

In the end I opted for a pair of skinny jeans with ugly wallpaper flowers which in and of itself looks ridiculously hilarious on my meaty legs. I paired them with a striped shirt that was SKIN tight because I wanted to buy the $6 on sale and the only choices were M or XL and I wasn’t going to get the XL. I don’t know if I will be able to fit it on my shoulders again now that it’s been washed, actually. Which stinks because we totally ironed on this cat patch that looks just like Beatrice.

This is Beatrice. Although the cat patch isn’t in the same “What up Gangsta!” pose, it looks JUST LIKE her.

Love Christi's "glowing" unicorn. Not so Christmas-y themed, but whatevs, it was fun.

Love Christi’s “glowing” unicorn. Not so Christmas-y themed, but whatevs, it was fun.

We made DIY earrings from Christmas ornaments, so technically we did have some X-mas cheer going on. It was supposed to be my night to drink since I drove the night before, but I started out all wrong with this warm wine which was pretty good ONLY when it was hot off the stove. As soon as it cooled down it got nasty and I was choking it down. We had infused some vodka with candy canes to bring along and it was seriously like drinking a candy cane with a splash of soda water. I am SO obsessed with infusing vodka, although my sister may be worse. She brought me some pomegranate vodka that you mix with a splash of lime juice and soda water and it tastes like a fruit bomb in your mouth. DANGEROUS.

Anyways, it was a really fun party helped largely by this one creepy guy who loves to stare at boobs not being there like he normally is. So that was awesome.

On the whole, aside from a handful of drinks and that handful of Fritos, I stayed pretty dang paleo throughout the holiday season. My next big challenge is gearing up for some ice climbing. I’ve baked a few loaves of this banana bread but turned it into the orange-cranberry option you’ll see at the bottom. It’s pretty good! I have found that using five small ORGANIC bananas gives it a much better flavor, in case you’re wondering.

Other good things I’ve made this week include:

Broccoli Fritters – making these made me feel good about not wasting ANY of the broccoli I bought!

Spaghetti Squash Sausage Bake – I made this with a spicy chicken sausage that was pretty good. I didn’t have sage or tarragon so I used smoked paprika and red pepper flakes which may or may not make any sense since I have no idea what the tarragon or sage would have done to the dish. Anywho, it was awesome.

Beets! I am so branching out with my veggies this week. First with the kale & spaghetti squash, and then the beets. Yeah, I’m getting lots of vitamins, holla!!! I just bought some arugula at the suggestion of a friend on Twitter who said it would pair well with these roasted, marinated beets. I’m anxious to try! Normally I think beets are gross unless they have goat cheese on them, so I was proud of myself for eating them relatively “plain.”

Almond Butter Chocolate Chip Blondies – uh yeah, don’t hate me for pointing this one out to you. They are good, TRUST me.

Are you excited for the new year? I am! So many cool things are going to happen in 2013 which includes:

– My impending “all red plates” extravaganza (date and time to be announced AFTER it’s over).

– Ice climbing and some more ice climbing including in the freaking GHOST!!!!

– CrossFit competitions with the team!

– Moving (ahhhhh, STRESS!)

– CrossFit coaching?!?! I want to really make this happen. I have so much fun doing this.

THIS? I really, really, really want to go but think I am going to be totally out of $$$. Le sigh.

Alright, I need to get to cooking some dinner. Hope you are having a wonderful holiday season!

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One comment

  1. You’re right I would have MEGA geeked out at the MC!



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